You’ve got a new family!
Let’s face it all of us secretly cherish our biological families. We might openly dread them and have family conversations that constitute of forced monosyllables but we are stuck to them in numerous ways. They know we look like raccoons after binge watching a television series for days or that we can get cranky and throw pillows around for no conceivable reasons.
They know how pathetic, lazy and thankless we are and still accept us, sometimes with open arms and at others with closed fists but they still do. Moving into a new city away from the comfort of one’s childhood home is difficult for the same reason.
It’s hard to find the kind of acceptance that one finds in one’s own home. But if you play your cards right your roommates just might become your new family, a family that you could love as much as your biological one.
Even though you might want to make the best first impression and start the relationship on a great footing it is recommended to avoid forcing yourself on people. Shifting to a new place is a really moving experience especially for people who are sensitive to change.
It is important to let everyone grow accustomed to the change at their own pace. Allow your roommate his/her own private space and start building a relationship by taking baby steps like asking them out for a walk or bringing them food to eat.
Such gestures help people open up better than forced garrulous conversations or house parties. If there are things you are extremely finicky about like dirty dishes in the sink or loud music, it is better to make these clear in the first few days in a very polite manner.
It might seem mechanical but would help you avoid sudden and unreasonable bouts of anger. It also helps to keep one’s finances clear, something that we are not accustomed to in an Indian household but in the long run it helps forge a healthier and more transparent relationship.
It is also important to remember that all families are different and no two individuals ever grow up under the same circumstances.
Everyone comes with a familial hangover to a new place, they have habits, beliefs and responses that you might not understand or agree with. But it is important to understand their point of view and respect it.
If it becomes too hard to accept it then do not force yourself into confrontations just to prove a point. Concentrate on what you like about your roommates rather than what you don’t, just like you would do with your family.
In totality living in a new place with new people induces the most self awareness and growth. If you want to have a truly enjoyable experience try not to take yourself too seriously after a while.
Try out new dishes, clothes and even languages and you will feel at home wherever you go.
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